~ A sunset in memory of mum ~A Tribute to my mum *~Anne Earle~*
27 September 1948 - 31 August 2009
"Go and live your life freely Emmie.
Follow your dreams, seize the day, enjoy every moment.
My role as a parent was to give you roots and wings.
I don’t want to clip your wings, and mop around me....
I am the Now, and you have your Future ahead of you.
Doing what you love is what makes me happy. I’ve seen many a family get sick as they orbited around one person who was sick, and you know what ....they all got sick. This is not my dream for you. Life doesn’t come in these nice neat packages. This year I thought I would finish my job and dad and I would return to New Zealand- it didn’t - this isn’t what I expected to happen. The last thing I want is for you all hanging around waiting for me to die.
So please, Go and Be Free".
Mums bright blue eyes shone in the sunlight as she shared this with me, tears running down both of our faces, and hearing the crackling noise from her lungs with every breath that she took.
Over the last 2 years since being back in Europe to be with mum, I have learnt so much of this most amazing women, whom I am lucky not only to call a mother but one of my best friends. It’s been hard coming back to Belfast every few months and firstly see her lose her hair, her eyelashes, hear that the latest chemo hadn’t worked, and slowly see her lose her independence. She told me very clearly, 'Emmie, I have a choice in the morning of whether I wake up, feel sorry for myself, and count my losses of what I can’t do… OR I can wake up and feel grateful for being alive and for what I can still achieve in my life.
I want to live a life of LIVING."
Everyday rain or shine, she would walk around the Lagan river for an hour, and push her limits of breath to make it to certain trees or benches to keep her spirits high. She was a wonderful listener and always put others first even amongst this cancer journey.
She was a women of Love. A true Inspiration.
At her bed side in hospital last week I looked out to the grey rain of the city and said, "Mum, I wish we could be looking out to sea from our home in New Zealand." She replied with limited breath through her oxygen mask, "Emmie, just be grateful for what we have".
None of us ever know when our time is up.... What I have learnt from my mother though, is that everyday we have a choice to wake up, feel happy and be grateful for LIFE. To live our lives and dreams freely, do what we love, and be true to ourselves. I know at times the journey ahead is going to be tough but I know mum would tell me to hold my head high with dignity and grace, and be grateful for every living moment.
You have taught me so much Mum through your wise, humble and gracious way with people.
"When I look at the sunshine and feel its warmth on me, I know you are there.
When I see rays of light shining through the bright green trees, I know you are there.
When the rain is falling and refreshing me, I know you are there.
When I climb a mountain in any kind of form, you will give me strength
And when the full moon shines - you are with me..."
I will love and remember you always mum.
*Kia kaha. Ka kite ano*
05 September
BallyCastle, Northern Ireland. 07 September 09
*Enjoying Vino/fondue in Evian, Lake Geneva August 08*
*Good timez, Rock n' Roll! - Les Gets, French alps*
Our whanau, giving mum's ashes to the worlds Ocean - Ballycastle, Northern Ireland
New beginnings with my whanau....